Memo To Bremer

L.Paul (Jerry),

Just wanted to send you a quickie to congratulate you guys at the CPA and IGC on selecting the proposed new flag for Iraq. Good luck with its official unveiling tomorrow. With all that stuff going on in Najaf and Fallujah, I thought you'd all be too busy for stuff like this. But were you too busy? You were not. Well done.

Hard to believe we've been in Iraq for only a year, but already we've given them a new Olympic logo, and now a flag too.

I'm really glad to see that you ditched that red, white, black, and green theme that those Arabs seem so attached to in their flags. Personally, I've always felt that the white background with blue lines and a big blue religious symbol is a combination that is under-represented in the vexillology (look it up) of the Mid East region. I'm proud that America has been able to put that right.

What is it with that Arab attachment to red, white, black and green anyway? Just because those colors have been used individually for 1400 years by proud Muslim and Arab kingdoms from al-Andalus to Baghdad, and used in combination as a sign of Arab brotherhood, unity and freedom from colonial rule ever since the Arab Revolt of 1916, doesn't mean they have any place on an Iraqi flag. (1400 years? Is that a typo? Gosh, who knew foreigners had so much history?)

Special congratulations for managing to push this decision through now, rather than leave it for the Iraqi people to freely decide for themselves what kind of flag - if any - should replace their existing one. Let them choose their own flag, and next thing you know they'll be wanting to choose their own leaders. Fat chance.

Can you believe that the BBC has been inundated with complaints from Iraqis who object to the flag we've chosen for them? I swear those Iraqis are the most ungrateful people on the face of the earth. (I'm still waiting for my sweets and rose petals, by the way). And now they're complaining that the new flag doesn't represent them. What are they talking about? It was chosen without any consultation with the people, it's disrespectful of Arab tradition and offensive to local sensibilities, and it just happened to be designed by the brother of the IGC member who picked the winning entry. Autocracy, colonial arrogance and nepotism all in one flag! What could represent the new Iraq better than that?

Me and the boys have been doing a little photoshopping of our own. If it's not too late, do you think you could take our designs into consideration?

This one was Powell's suggestion. (Way to go, Mr Secretary of State. Very original).

Cheney liked this one.

And Arik helped our Commander in Chief prepare this one during their historic visit last week. (Did you hear we gave away the West Bank? And it's not even ours to give! Boy, did we laugh. I don't suppose it even made the news over there, did it?).

This is my personal favourite - I just love that Jerusalem Cross in the hoist. Brings a tear to the eye. That Crusader imagery wouldn't cause any problems for you, would it? After all, does anyone over there even remember the Crusades?

Anyway, the final decision is yours of course. Looking forward to seeing what you unveil tomorrow. Pleased to see that everything is going so well with you that you have nothing better to with your time than come up with insensitive and unartistic flag designs that, let's face it, will be jettisoned by the locals the day after we withdraw. Can't wait to hear what you come up with for a new national anthem.

Regards,

-- Rummy

P.S. If you do go ahead with the Israel-lookalike design, don't forget to use fire-retardant fabric.

Comments

[ExpatEgghead]

You might be interested in my post on the subject. Designed in London my the brother of the man who is the chairman of the committee to choose a new one. It's been burned in the streets already, allegedly but I take that with a pinch of salt.